Children’s Mental Health Week 2026: “This is my place” — a family lawyer’s perspective

As a Scottish family lawyer, much of my work involves listening to stories about children. Most often, those stories are told through the child’s parents. At other times, they come through court reports or from a solicitor or curator appointed to represent a child’s interests. No matter the source, the child’s lived experience sits at the heart of every case.

The theme for Children’s Mental Health Week 2026 — “This Is My Place” — captures something deeply important for children navigating family change.

What “place” really means for a child

For adults, “place” might refer to a home, a town, or a sense of belonging within a relationship.

For children, the concept can be more profound. Their place isn’t simply mum’s house or dad’s flat. It is:

where they feel safe
where they feel heard
where they know they matter
where they can be themselves
where they feel respected and that they belong

In family law, we regularly use terms like residence, contact, and parental responsibilities and rights. These legal concepts are necessary, but they can sometimes obscure what truly matters: the emotional reality of the child at the centre of the arrangements. Ideally every child should feel they have a place with each parent.

The impact of moving between homes

Transitioning between two households can prove challenging for children. Constantly adapting to different environments, expectations, and routines can disrupt a child’s sense of security.

A clear, consistent routine — and open communication between parents — can make these transitions far less stressful and help children feel more settled.

Listening to children — beyond a procedural requirement

Scottish family law continues to place increasing emphasis on involving children in decisions that affect them, aligning with the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child. But listening to children is not a box‑ticking exercise.

How their views are taken matters greatly. We must consider:

Would this child prefer completing the F9 form (issued by the court and designed to be child friendly), or speaking with someone in person?
Would they feel more comfortable with the support of a teacher or trusted adult?
What environment allows them to express themselves openly and safely?

Children need to know that their views are taken seriously — not that they carry responsibility for adult decisions, but that their thoughts matter. When a child says they feel calmer in one home, or anxious during transitions, they are telling us something vital about their emotional safety. It is also important that if a child does not feel forced to express a view if they don’t wish to do so.

From a mental health perspective, being heard gives children a sense of agency. It reminds them they are not simply observers in a situation created by adults.

Balancing views with best interests

A child’s views, whilst important, are not always determinative. The child’s best interests must remain the paramount consideration. But it is essential that children are given meaningful opportunities to express themselves about their care and upbringing.

The harm of parental conflict

One of the most damaging aspects of parental separation is a child’s exposure to ongoing conflict. Even when arguments are not witnessed directly, children are highly perceptive. They absorb tension. They may feel pressure to take sides, guilt for enjoying time with one parent, or fear that being honest will cause upset. This emotional burden can unsettle a child’s sense of place as much as any practical arrangement.

As family lawyers, we have a responsibility to encourage solutions that minimise conflict and promote cooperation — ensuring children are protected from being placed in the middle of adult disputes. We also have an obligation to encourage our clients to focus on their children’s best interests and avoid involving them in any disputes. We should encourage them to speak about the other parent in positive terms.

Court, in most cases, should be a last resort.

Alternative dispute resolution, negotiation, and child‑focused discussions often create space for families to rebuild stability, allowing children to reclaim their role of being children, not mediators.