Dementia and divorce - what do you need to be aware of?

Relationships can break down at any time. Some couples separate at a young age. Others separate much later in life. In many ways the age of the couple in question makes little difference when considering the legal issues arising from the breakdown of their marriage or civil partnership (for the purposes of this article, any reference to marriage applies equally to civil partnerships). There are, however, certain circumstances where the age of the couple can vastly influence the issues for consideration.

Dementia week takes place every year in May, raising awareness of symptoms, early diagnosis and how to best support individuals living with the various types. It marks the journey many families are forced to navigate when a loved one is diagnosed. This year the event will have a bigger impact on me - my own father passed away in May 2025. He suffered from vascular dementia.

How dementia impacts families facing separation?

Dementia really is the cruelest of diseases, robbing those who suffer from it of their memories and meaningful relationships with those they love. The behaviour of a person suffering from dementia can radically change. Prior to diagnosis, the spouse of someone with dementia can be puzzled by the behaviour of someone they have lived with for many years. Bad temperedness and violent tendencies can creep in when the sufferer was previously mild mannered. Sufferers can struggle to identify who their loved ones are or can form overly familiar attachments to individuals outwith their family unit. Some sufferers believe that they are living in a different time frame to the current day; talking about problems at work when they retired many years earlier or asking for their parents who have long since passed away. If undiagnosed, the spouse of someone with dementia could simply believe that they cannot remain married to the stranger their spouse has become and could decide to end the marriage. To become divorced in Scotland it must be proven that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. One of the ways in which the irretrievable breakdown of a marriage can be proven in Scotland is unreasonable behaviour. That ground can be established if the behaviour of one of the spouses is such that the other spouse cannot be expected to live with them. It is common for dementia to go undiagnosed for many months or years. The effect on marriages can be catastrophic.

Is it possible to separate or divorce a spouse living with dementia?

Of course, it is possible that someone may seek to separate despite there being a dementia diagnosis. Perhaps they had already separated some months or even years earlier but the financial matters arising from the separation have not been agreed nor the divorce finalised. Alternatively, the spouse of someone suffering from dementia may no longer wish to remain married notwithstanding the diagnosis.

Dementia and ongoing financial support after divorce

The law in Scotland provides that where possible there should be a clean break upon divorce. That means that wherever possible, the capital which the couple have amassed during their marriage ought to be shared in such a way that no further monthly payments ought to be made. If that is not possible the court can order that one spouse make a monthly payment to the other. That payment is called aliment before divorce and periodical allowance post-divorce. Payments of this nature are designed to give a spouse who was dependent on the other time to adjust to living without their ongoing financial support. The payments usually last for a period of no more than 3 years post-divorce. In certain circumstances those payments can, however, last for a longer duration if the person receiving them would suffer serious financial hardship should they be stopped. There is no time limit set by law for these payments. The circumstances of each case are considered. If a court is asked to determine when payments end, it can decide that they will finish on a specific date or upon a specific event. If someone has dementia, they are unlikely to be able to work in order to support themselves. They will potentially require ongoing financial support from their spouse for a much longer period, perhaps until such time as living independently is no longer an option.

Why early legal advice is essential in dementia-related separations

A person suffering from dementia may lack the capacity to deal with the legal issues arising from separation and divorce. Obtaining early legal advice is therefore crucial. If you require legal advice regarding separating from a spouse or civil partner, particularly in difficult circumstances, please contact one of our family lawyers.