In between juggling court hearings and advice to clients, I received three "urgent" lunchtime calls this week:
The first – a request for a transfer of £30 for the acquisition of pet ants.
The second – a "polite suggestion" that I buy pizza for tea.
The third – a video call to ask if I would like a friendship bracelet. This was quite a nice surprise until I got home and was advised that said bracelet would cost me: a) a fiver; or b) that I would have to host a sleepover. Needless to say, my wallet was quickly located.
All of this brought home to me two things. Firstly, that there should be less school holidays in a year; and secondly, that, if we want something badly enough, we will generally find a way to achieve it.
The same is true of family law. Our adult lives are inherently messy and difficult. However, usually the things that appear the most daunting are also the things that are most worth the reward. It is not our job, as family lawyers, to stand in the way of how our clients wish to structure things, be that bringing two lives together, or untangling them in the event of separation. However, it absolutely is our job to look at the risks of any arrangement and to point out potential pitfalls, illegalities or problems.
Take the following scenarios:
My beloved and I live in two separate countries
With a plethora of communication methods and excellent transport links, it is perfectly possible for relationships to thrive whilst couples are separated by geographical boundaries. If absence makes the heart grow fonder, then there is certainly something to be said for such a set-up.
In any committed relationship (be that as cohabitants or in a formalised relationship such as a marriage or civil partnership), we would encourage transparent conversations about what may happen in the event of a future separation. Where there is more than one jurisdiction concerned, we would wish to ensure that any protections put in place in Scotland would be upheld in the event of matters being dealt with elsewhere.
I want to buy a plane and live out my pilot dreams
Family lawyers absolutely cannot assist you in purchasing a plane (sorry). However, if you are fortunate enough to be in a position to purchase a valuable asset, we would encourage consideration of whether that asset may become subject to a claim from a spouse or partner down the line. In a matrimonial context, it is possible that any asset acquired during the marriage may be part of the "matrimonial property" for division, even if the funding derived from a non matrimonial source. A pre-nuptial or post-nuptial agreement can assist you.
I want to move across the world with my children
If your children have not spent the holiday period making (frankly unreasonable and expensive) requests and you wish to relocate abroad with them, the position may not be straightforward in the absence of consent of any other party with parental rights and responsibilities in respect of them. However, with the right guidance, it may well be possible to find a creative solution which works for the whole family.
We want to set up our new (separated) lives in a way which suits us both
When things break down, we tend to turn to our friends and family for advice about the right way forward. However, it is worth remembering that what may have been the "right" solution for one person may not be the best thing for your family. The personalities involved in any family difficulties can make a real difference to the approach which may be taken. Whilst family lawyers provide guidance, ultimately the decision making should be yours. There are numerous methods of alternative dispute resolution and we would always recommend considering all of the options before deciding exactly how to proceed.
However you wish to arrange your life, always bear in mind that the better your lawyer knows you, the better chance you have of achieving an outcome which really works for you and yours, be that in protecting assets or progressing with a separation. Love will find a way… and so will the right family lawyer.
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