How to create effective care arrangements for neurodivergent children

Neurodiversity is an umbrella term which includes various neurological differences including autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia and Tourette’s. Approximately 15-20% of the global population have a neurological difference. As family lawyers, it is important for us to reflect on our practice and consider how we can create environments which are more inclusive, supportive, and accessible for neurodivergent families. 

Advising clients on how to navigate care arrangements following a separation is a fundamental part of what we do, but where there are neurodivergent children involved co-operation, communication and consistency between separated parents can be even more crucial. Below, we share some key themes that can help make contact arrangements successful for everyone. It is worth noting that many of the strategies designed to support neurodivergent children could help to create arrangements which operate more effectively for all families. 

1. Building Routine

Routine is important for all children, but can be particularly significant for neurodivergent children who may have a heightened need for predictability and may find change particularly difficult. In that way, it can often be helpful to develop recurring care patterns, which are easy to follow. Whilst some changes are unavoidable, it is important that, where possible, these are communicated to the child well in advance to limit any distress and allow time for the child to prepare for changes to their routine. Separated parents can pre-empt some of these issues by discussing how changes to arrangements will be managed. In some cases, it may be helpful to set time limits for when a parent should notify the other about any changes. In circumstances where children move between different homes, consistency across both is key. For example, maintaining similar routines for bedtime, school arrangements or extracurricular activities.

2. Effective communication

It is also important to recognise that we all have different preferences when it comes to communication and there may be several different communication styles in one family. Careful consideration should be given to how arrangements are communicated to the children involved, taking into account their individual needs and preferences. For example, visual aids such as a schedule of the weekly care arrangements can be helpful. Colour-coding or naming days depending on the care arrangements for that day can help provide clarity and reassure children. This can also help children feel more involved in the arrangements for their care. Separated parents should also try to maintain open and effective communication to ensure they are able to discuss their child’s evolving needs in a constructive way. 

3. Flexibility

Whilst building and maintaining routine is important, this does not necessarily mean that care arrangements must remain static. It may be beneficial for separated parents to regularly review the care arrangements and their suitability for each child involved, and to remain open minded about finding solutions. In many cases siblings will have the same pattern of care, but this will not always be appropriate – particularly if the children have differing needs or may benefit from one-to-one time with each parent. Some children may find mid‑week transitions challenging, while others may have extracurricular activities that require to be carefully managed. Neurodivergent children can be particularly sensitive to stimuli and may experience overwhelm or burnout. When this occurs, short-term adjustments to care arrangements to best support the child’s wellbeing may be appropriate. Separating parents who are able to adopt a flexible approach from the outset may find themselves better able to respond to significant changes when they arise, such as the transition between primary and secondary school.

4. External support

It is important to note that a child’s needs are not necessarily defined by a particular diagnosis. Supports, therapies, and day to day parenting strategies will be based around the child’s individual needs. Separating parents should aim to reach agreement about the involvement of external professionals (for example, therapists or psychologists) and how communication with those professionals is managed. Where medical input is required, or if a child is taking regular medication, it is important to put arrangements in place to ensure consistency across changing care arrangements. Doing so can help maintain continuity of care and reduce anxiety for the child.

5. Taking account of the children’s views

In Scotland, all children are to be given the opportunity to express a view about their care arrangements in whichever manner is most appropriate for them taking into account their age and stage of development. Children should be encouraged to share their views and opinions about the time they spend with each parent, including what helps them to feel safe and supported in, and going between, each household.

Some neurodivergent children may struggle with expressing their views, perhaps due to communication difficulties or because they have difficulty identifying and describing their feelings and emotions. Children should be supported to express their views, should they wish to do so, in a way which they feel comfortable with. That may require the support of a trusted adult, such as a teacher, support worker or other communication partner, or in some cases a specialist professional such as a psychologist or therapist who has experience of working with the child or their particular neurodivergence to ensure that their views can be heard.

At Brodies, we have considerable experience assisting clients navigating separation where parents or children are neurodivergent. For more information, please get in touch with one of our family lawyers.